10 Top Tips to Brighten up Dull Property Viewings24/12/15
Some say you know within the first 30 seconds of walking in the front door whether a property is right for you or not.
But what if it isn’t the property of your dreams? You have just committed 30 minutes or more of your precious time to what could be a very dull and boring viewing. So why not make it fun!?
Here are some suggestions.
Ask several times to be reminded of the asking price as you walk around, and then laugh uncontrollably each time the Agent tells you. It may seem like they are getting angry, but they really love it!
On entering each room Estate Agents often annoyingly state the function of the room. Try repeatedly contradicting them. For example:
Agent: “This is the kitchen”
Agent: “And here, a lovely Conservatory”
This works best for larger properties. Smile throughout whilst avoiding eye contact for best results.
Pretend to cry throughout the viewing. Each time the Estate Agent asks what is wrong reply “It’s all so beautiful”. The worse the condition or decor of the property, the more fun you’ll have with this. If they ignore your crying, get louder and louder until inconsolable.
If you have seen enough, ask to use the bathroom. When inside, start moaning and blowing loud raspberry noises for about 5 minutes. Afterwards, leave the room quickly and slam the door. This also works well for under stairs cupboards and utility rooms.
If bored, ask the Estate Agent if it is OK to take photographs. If the answer is yes, then collect up as many framed photographs of the owners and their family members as you can find. From experience, the Agent usually asks you to put them back. Do so, sighing as you place each one back in place.
Ask the Estate Agent to repeat their name and then reply “oooh French”. If their name is French, reply “oooh Italian”.
Descend the stairs on your bottom.
Carry a small toy cowboy gun in your pocket or handbag. If the property is a dud, take out your toy pistol and pretend to fire at anything the agent points out saying “POW!” in a soft voice. For example:
“The fireplace is functional” - point your gun at the fireplace and say “POW!”
“As you can see, there are 2 parking spaces” - shoot in the direction of the driveway and say “POW, POW!”.
Great fun can be had with this one in a well equipped kitchen which gives you the opportunity to spin around shooting each appliance as the Agent points them out, like Clint Eastwood at the end of a Spaghetti Western. Please remember to blow the imaginary smoke from the end of the barrel after repeated appliance shooting for extra drama.
Skip everywhere, especially around the garden.
Once you realise the house is not for you, start repeating everything the Estate Agent says in a whisper into the end of your sleeve as if you have a hidden microphone. After the viewing, thank the Agent and say that “your people” will be in touch. A wink is optional.
Once you get into it, you will think of your own things to do to pass the time.
HAPPY VIEWING and have fun!